Healing Through Grief: Supporting Your Nervous System After the Loss of a Pet
The Silence That Changes Everything
You know that moment when you walk through the door and the house just feels... wrong? No clicking nails on the floor. No soft thud of a tail. No warm body pressing against your leg.
The silence after losing a pet isn't just quiet, it's deafening. It sits in your chest like a weight you can't name.
If you're reading this, I want you to know something important: what you're feeling isn't "just" grief over "just" a pet. This is a profound nervous system event. Your body has lost its co-regulator, the being who helped you feel safe, grounded, and connected every single day.
And that kind of loss? It doesn't just live in your heart. It lives in your bones, your breath, your sleep patterns, and in that frozen feeling you might be carrying right now.
Let's talk about what's actually happening in your body, and how to gently support your nervous system as you find a gentle path through it.
The Science of the Bond: Why This Loss Hits So Deep
Here's something fascinating: research shows that when we spend time with our pets, our heart rates actually synchronize. Our brain waves shift. Our nervous systems literally attune to each other.
Your pet wasn't just keeping you company, they were helping regulate your entire system. Every morning snuggle, every evening walk, every quiet moment on the couch together was a micro-dose of co-regulation.
So when they're gone? Your nervous system notices. It's searching for that familiar rhythm, that grounding presence, that warm anchor. And when it can't find it, you might feel:
Frozen, unable to move, think clearly, or make decisions
Scattered, like you can't focus on anything
Hypervigilant, startling easily, trouble sleeping
Numb, disconnected from your emotions or your body
This isn't weakness. This is biology. Your body is responding to a real, significant loss of safety and connection.
The question isn't "how do I get over this?" It's "how do I support my nervous system while I carry this love differently: and gently shift into a more aligned timeline?"
The 5 Paws of Pet Medicine for Grief
At Paws 4 Wellness, we use a framework called the 5 Paws of Pet Medicine, and it's especially powerful during times of loss. These aren't steps to "fix" your grief. They're gentle ways to tend to your nervous system while honoring the depth of your bond.
🐾 Paw 1: Connection , Honoring the Bond Through Ritual
Grief can make us want to isolate. But your nervous system craves connection, especially now.
Try this: Create a small ritual to honor your pet. Light a candle. Place their collar somewhere meaningful. Talk to them out loud (yes, really). Write them a letter.
This isn't about closure. It's about keeping the connection alive in a new form. Your love doesn't end just because their body did.
You might also reach out to someone who gets it: a friend who loved animals, a pet loss support group, or our Paws 4 Wellness community.
🐾 Paw 2: Movement : Unsticking the Frozen Energy
When grief hits, your body often goes into freeze mode. You might feel heavy, sluggish, or like you're moving through molasses.
Gentle movement helps that stuck energy start to flow again. This isn't about intense workouts: it's about inviting your body back online.
Try this:
Take a slow walk (maybe their favorite route, or somewhere entirely new)
Shake your hands and arms for 30 seconds
Put on a song they used to hear you play and let your body sway
Stretch for 5 minutes while breathing deeply
Movement doesn't erase the pain. It just gives your nervous system a little room to breathe.
🐾 Paw 3: Mindfulness : Sitting With the Heavy Silence
I know: the silence is the hardest part. But here's the thing: when we resist the silence, when we fill every moment with distraction, we don't actually process the grief. We just push it down.
Mindfulness doesn't mean you have to meditate for an hour. It means allowing yourself to be with what's here, even when it's heavy.
Try this: Set a timer for 5 minutes. Sit somewhere quiet. Place your hand on your heart. Breathe. And just... notice. Notice the weight. Notice the ache. Notice that you're still breathing, still here, still holding this love.
You don't have to make the sadness go away. You just have to let it move through you.
For more on grounding yourself when everything feels overwhelming, check out When the World Feels Too Much: Breathe First, Then Take Action.
🐾 Paw 4: Processing : Using EFT to Move the Physical Sensation of Grief
This is where things get really powerful.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique): also called "tapping": is one of the most effective tools for moving stuck grief out of your body. It works by gently stimulating acupressure points while you acknowledge what you're feeling, which helps calm your amygdala (the brain's alarm system) and shift your nervous system out of fight-flight-freeze.
When grief feels physical: that tight chest, that lump in your throat, that heavy pit in your stomach: tapping can help.
Why does tapping help with pet loss?
Because grief isn't just an emotion. It's a body experience. And sometimes, no amount of talking or thinking can support your nervous system enough to move what's stored in your tissues. Tapping gives your body a way to process what words can't reach.
I've created an EFT video specifically for pet loss grief. You can use it whenever the waves hit: whether that's in the middle of the night, during a quiet afternoon, or when you stumble across their favorite toy.
Jennifer Bronsnick, LCSW
For more on how tapping and pets work together, read Why Talking to Your Pet and Tapping Might Be the Most Effective Nervous System Regulation Tool You're Not Using.
🐾 Paw 5: Reflection : Remembering With Gratitude
At some point: and there's no timeline for this: you'll find yourself able to remember without the sharp edge of pain. You'll smile at a memory instead of crumbling.
This isn't "moving on." It's integration. It's carrying the love forward in a new way.
Try this: Start a gratitude list for your pet. What did they teach you? How did they change you? What moments will you carry forever?
Some people create memory boxes. Some plant a tree. Some donate to a shelter in their pet's name. Find what feels right for you.
A Gentle Reminder
You're not trying to "get over" this loss. There is no portal that erases this love from your life: and you wouldn't want one anyway.
What you can do is support your nervous system while you learn to carry this love differently. You can honor the bond. You can let the grief move. You can be gentle with yourself on the hard days.
Your pet helped regulate your nervous system every day of their life. Now it's time to learn how to hold yourself the way they held you: with patience, presence, and unconditional love.
Recap: Supporting Yourself After Pet Loss
The 5 Paws of Pet Medicine for Grief:
🐾 Connection : Honor the bond through ritual and community
🐾 Movement : Gently unstick frozen energy
🐾 Mindfulness : Sit with the silence without running from it
🐾 Processing : Use EFT to move grief through your body
🐾 Reflection : Remember with gratitude and carry the love forward
Get More Support
If you're navigating pet loss and need more tools, community, or just a soft place to land: I've got you.
👉 Join the Paws 4 Wellness community here
You'll find free resources, pet-powered nervous system practices, and a space where your grief is understood and honored.
You don't have to do this alone. 🐾
About the Author
Jennifer Bronsnick, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience supporting anxiety, ADHD, and emotional overwhelm. She is the founder of Paws 4 Wellness and the creator of Pet Medicine: a gentle, science-backed framework that uses the human–animal bond to help people regulate their nervous systems, feel safer in their bodies, and build everyday emotional resilience. Jennifer believes pets are not just companions: they're co-regulators, teachers, and anchors back to wholeness.
Explore pet-powered practices, free resources, and the Paws 4 Wellness community:
👉 https://linktr.ee/paws4wellness