What To Do If You’ve Been Sexually Assaulted: A Gentle Guide to Safety and Support
There are moments in life where everything goes quiet and loud at the same time.
Where your body is here… but also not. Where your thoughts don’t line up. Where you’re trying to figure out what just happened, and what you’re supposed to do next.
If you are here because something happened to you, I want to say this first: You don’t have to do this perfectly. There is no “correct” response. There is only what feels possible, one step at a time. This is a guide, not a set of rules. We are going to look at how to navigate these next few hours and days, using both practical steps and the steady, non-judgmental support of Pet Medicine to help your nervous system find a portal back to a sense of safety.
1. Start With Safety
The first step is not clarity. It’s safety.
In the immediate aftermath, your body is likely in a state of high alert or profound numbness. One of the most powerful things you can do is engage in Paw 3: Movement. This isn't about exercise; it's about the physical act of moving your body to a location that feels even a little more secure.
Leave where you are: If you can, physically exit the environment where the assault occurred.
Go somewhere "safer": This might be a friend's house, a locked room, or a public space with people you trust.
The "Shake It Off" Breath: As you move, your body may want to tremble. Let it. This is a natural nervous system response to discharge high-intensity energy. Take a deep breath in, and as you exhale, imagine you are gently shaking the tension out of your fingertips.
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. Safety doesn’t have to feel calm right now. It just needs to be safer than where you were.
2. Medical Care Is About You, Not a Report
You can go to a hospital or Emergency Room even if you are not sure what you want to do legally. Medical care is a way to prioritize your physical self and shift into a timeline where your needs are centered.
At the hospital, you can receive treatment for injuries, medication to prevent pregnancy or STIs, and have evidence collected (which can often be stored while you decide your next steps). You can ask for a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) if one is available.
👉 Ask to speak to the social worker.
The social worker’s role is vital. They are there to sit with you, help you understand your options without pressure, and connect you to resources for follow-up care. You do not have to navigate the sterile, often overwhelming hospital space alone. They are your advocate in a moment when your own voice might feel small.
3. Mindfulness: Noticing Your Immediate Needs
When you are in a safe-enough space, try to drop into Paw 2: Mindfulness. This doesn't mean sitting in meditation for an hour. It means a "Safer Space Scan" that takes about 3 to 5 minutes.
Check-in: Without judgment, ask your body: What do I need right now? Do you need a glass of water? A heavy blanket? To take off your shoes?
Sensory anchor: Find one thing in the room that looks steady, a chair, a picture, or a rug. Notice its color and shape. This helps remind your brain that you are no longer in the moment of the assault; you are here, in this room, and the floor is holding you up.
For more on how to manage when the environment feels overwhelming, you might find our post on when the world feels too much helpful.
4. Preserving Evidence (Gently)
Only if it feels doable. If you are considering a forensic exam, try not to shower, change clothes, or brush your teeth yet. If you have already done any of these things, you can still go to the hospital. This is not an all-or-nothing situation. Your worth and the validity of your experience are not tied to a piece of evidence.
5. Decision Making and Reporting
You get to choose if, how, and when you report. You have the option to report now, report later, or not report at all. In many jurisdictions, evidence can be collected and stored anonymously for a period of time. There is no timeline for your emotional readiness. You are the only person who gets to decide what the next step in your story looks like.
6. Let Someone Be With You
Trauma often tries to isolate us, making us feel like we are on an island where no one can reach us. Shifting out of that isolation happens through safe connection.
Reach out: Call a trusted friend, a family member, or an advocate.
National Resources: You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE or use their online chat. They are available 24/7.
Borrowing Safety from your Pet: This is where Pet Medicine truly shines. Your pet’s nervous system is an anchor. They don't need you to explain what happened. They simply exist with you.
The Connection Exercise (5 Minutes):
Sit near your pet. If they are willing, rest your hand on them. Notice the rhythm of their breathing. Don't try to change your own breath yet; just feel theirs. Animals live in a state of presence. By touching them, you are inviting your nervous system to "co-regulate", essentially borrowing their steadiness until you can find your own again.
7. Tapping for Grounding
When the thoughts begin to spiral or the "what ifs" become too loud, Paw 4: Tapping (EFT) can help release the stuck emotional charge. This is a somatic rehearsal that tells your amygdala (the brain's alarm system) that the immediate threat has passed.
Spend 2 minutes tapping gently on these points while acknowledging your current state:
Side of hand: "Even though I feel overwhelmed, I am safe in this moment."
Eyebrow: "This heavy feeling."
Side of eye: "This shakiness."
Under eye: "I am here."
Under nose: "I am safe now."
Collarbone: "It is okay to move slowly."
Top of head: "I am back in my body."
For a deeper dive into why this works, check out our guide on why talking to your pet and tapping is so effective.
8. Reflection: Making Sense of the Moment
Once you are in a stable environment, Reflection allows you to begin processing the experience on your own terms. Writing things down can be a way to "unload" the thoughts from your brain onto paper, which can reduce the mental load.
If it feels supportive, try these prompts:
Where in my body do I feel the most "held" or steady right now?
What is one small thing I can do for my physical comfort in the next hour?
If my pet could speak, what gentle words of comfort would they offer me?
Complete these sentences:
The core value I am honoring by seeking safety is _______________.
The boundary I am setting for my peace of mind is _______________.
9. Understanding the Cost and Resources
Support should never be a luxury. If cost is a concern, please know that local rape crisis centers often provide free services. Community mental health clinics and many private therapists offer sliding-scale fees. The hospital social worker is a fantastic resource for finding low-cost or free trauma counseling and follow-up care planning. You don't have to figure out the finances while you are in a state of shock.
10. You Are Not Alone: Understanding the Scope
What happened to you matters. And as much as you may feel isolated right now, you are not alone in this experience.
Sometimes seeing the numbers can be grounding—not because you are a statistic (you are not), but because it reminds you that this is a widespread reality, and you deserve support that is real, accessible, and non-judgmental.
Here is what the research shows:
Approximately 1 in 5 women will experience completed or attempted rape in their lifetime.
About 1 in 33 men will experience completed or attempted rape in their lifetime.
Transgender and non-binary individuals face even higher risks, with nearly 1 in 2 (47%) experiencing sexual assault at some point in their lives.
These numbers represent real people—people with nervous systems, relationships, pets, jobs, families, and hearts that didn’t deserve to be impacted this way. If you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed, numb, angry, foggy, or “not like yourself,” that’s not weakness. That’s a very normal nervous system response to something that should never have happened.
You shouldn’t have to navigate this alone. Support is not something you “earn” by reacting a certain way. You deserve it simply because you are you.
10. Release the Blame: It Is Not Your Fault
It is common for the brain to try and find a reason for what happened: to look at clothing, choices, or locations. This is a survival mechanism; the brain thinks if it can find a "mistake," it can prevent it from happening again. But hear this clearly: Responsibility belongs only to the person who caused harm. Not your past, not your body, and not your choices.
You are allowed to go slowly. You are allowed to not know what you want yet. And even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, your body can find its way back to a timeline of steadiness.
A Note for the Days Ahead
The days after an assault can feel unpredictable. You might notice waves of emotion, trouble sleeping, or moments of feeling "okay" followed by deep distress. This isn't you being broken; it is your system trying to process something overwhelming.
As we look toward the future, I am excited to share that my upcoming book, "My Pet Is Better Than Your Therapist" (coming March 2026), explores more deeply how our animal companions help us navigate these exact types of nervous system ruptures. They are our greatest teachers in returning to the present moment.
Recap of Support Steps:
Safety First: Move to a safer space (Paw 3).
Medical Care: Utilize SANEs and Social Workers.
Grounding: Use HeartMath/Connection with your pet (Paw 1) and Tapping (Paw 4).
Reach Out: Call RAINN (800-656-HOPE) or a trusted friend.
Reflect: Journal your needs when ready (Paw 5).
You are not alone in this. There is a whole community here to support your journey back to yourself.
How can you practice one small act of "Pet Medicine" for yourself today? Whether it's sitting with your dog or just watching a video of a cat purring, let that be your first step toward regulation.
For more resources, exercises, and support, visit us here:
👉 https://linktr.ee/paws4wellness
About the Founder
Jennifer Bronsnick, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience supporting anxiety, ADHD, and emotional overwhelm. She is the founder of Paws 4 Wellness and the creator of Pet Medicine: a gentle, science-backed framework that uses the human–animal bond to help people regulate their nervous systems, feel safer in their bodies, and build everyday emotional resilience. Jennifer believes pets are not just companions: they’re co-regulators, teachers, and anchors back to wholeness.
Explore pet-powered practices, free resources, and the Paws 4 Wellness community:
👉 https://linktr.ee/paws4wellness