When Bitterness Arises: How to Reclaim Yourself, Awaken Inner Shiva, and Heal the Wounds of Chasing Love with Pet Medicine
We all carry old patterns: some easy to spot, others tucked deep in the unspoken stories of our nervous system. These hidden patterns tend to surface during heartbreak, full moons, or those moments when life cracks us open and shows us what we've been carrying.
Recently, I sat with a deep wave of bitterness. I heard my own heart whisper: "I feel hatred toward men." Not because they are inherently bad: some of my dearest friends are men: but because I was tired. Exhausted from a game I'd been playing without realizing it.
Recognizing the Pattern: When We Chase What We Think We Need
This wasn't about them. It was about an old wound I was still carrying: a little girl who longed to be liked, loved, and to belong. The pattern looked like this:
Being mocked by boys as a girl, then desperately wanting them to like me
Chasing male acceptance through intimacy, abandoning my own needs
Giving parts of myself away, hoping someone would finally choose me
Feeling trapped in cycles of self-betrayal
When I recognized this pattern, I didn't shame myself. Instead, I saw it as a sacred threshold: an invitation to choose a different path forward.
Understanding Frequency: You Attract What You Are
Then I remembered Bashar's wisdom: "Circumstances don't matter. Only your state of being matters." In my bitterness, I was vibrating in wounded longing and old resentment. From that frequency, I could only call in more of the same.
His second teaching is equally important: "You cannot experience what you are not the vibration of." If I wanted love that honors me, I had to become the vibration of sovereign joy, embodied worthiness, and deep self-love: not through force, but through gentle resonance.
Pet Medicine: Transforming Frozen Grief
Bitterness isn't the enemy. It's frozen grief plus unmet need: a signal that something inside us is ready to shift into alignment.
Here's a practice I use with clients who feel stuck in these patterns:
The Witnessing Practice:
Lie comfortably with your pet nearby
Imagine them energetically witnessing the younger you: the one who was hurt, who longed for love
Let them "lick away" the shame and grief from your body and energy field
Allow whatever emotions arise to move through you: crying, shaking, or just stillness
Then, place your hands on your arms, heart, and belly. Speak these words aloud:
"I no longer abandon myself for love. I choose myself first. My body is sacred. I choose when, how, and with whom I share intimacy: only when it serves my joy and expansion."
Awakening Your Inner Shiva: Stability Within
Part of transforming this pattern involves awakening what I call the Inner Shiva: the steady, conscious, witnessing energy within us all. This isn't about gender; it's about presence, boundaries, and sacred containment.
How to activate this energy:
🌿 Meditation: Sit daily, feeling your spine as the axis of your world
🌿 Breathwork: Inhale deep into your belly, exhale long and slow
🌿 Mantra: "I am the unshakable witness. I choose. I protect my sacred energy."
🌿 Embodiment: Walk with intention, move with purpose, speak from clarity
When your inner Shiva holds your inner Shakti (your flowing, creative essence), you stop chasing validation and become the source of your own safety and devotion.
A Sacred Reset Ritual
Whether you're single or partnered, consider taking a pause from sexual activity for a sacred reset. Give your nervous system time to remember that your "yes" matters deeply and will be honored from now on. This isn't about deprivation: it's about recalibrating to your own worth.
The Releasing Ritual:
Light a candle and place one hand on your heart, one on your lower belly
Speak to the past: "I release you. I reclaim my energy. I forgive myself for chasing love through self-abandonment. I welcome only those who honor me fully."
Let your pet sit with you: their presence anchors you in this truth: You are already lovable, already worthy, already enough
Daily Alignment Practice
Each morning, look in the mirror and speak this affirmation:
"I am a sovereign, radiant being. I align with love that honors me. I walk in balance: my inner Shiva steady, my inner Shakti free. I do not chase; I attract through the joy of my being. My body, my energy, my choice."
Your pet already knows this truth. They love you because you are, not because you perform. Let them teach you this unconditional acceptance.
Moving Forward: From Bitterness to Sovereignty
If you find yourself bitter, weary, or trapped in old stories of love, remember:
✨ This is not the end of your story: it's a portal to deeper self-love and sovereignty
✨ You're allowed to feel it all, and then choose differently
✨ Your pets model this wholeness every day: present, accepting, and complete
The love you're seeking isn't something you have to chase or earn. It's something you cultivate within yourself first, then attract through the magnetic field of your own joy and self-respect.
Quick Ritual Recap:
• Daily grounding: Sit with your pet and feel your spine as your center
• Boundary practice: "I choose myself first" affirmation with hand on heart
• Energy clearing: Let your pet witness and "lick away" old shame patterns
• Morning alignment: Mirror work with sovereignty affirmation
• Sacred pause: Take time to reset your relationship with intimacy and choice
Take a moment right now to connect with your pet: or imagine one beside you. Feel their calm, steady presence reminding you that love doesn't require performance, just presence. Ready to explore more rituals like this? Visit our Paws 4 Wellness community for gentle practices that support your journey back to yourself.